The Case Against Masculine Ego

As a strong-willed, independent, confident, and ambitious woman, who has set goals as high as the stars for her career and personal life, I am so freaking appalled by this article. Should I even give it the honor of calling it an article or even a blog post? It’s neither, in my opinion. (“Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?” – Milton Berle) 

“A woman with excessive confidence is like a man with a vagina. It’s an attribute that is at best superfluous and at worst prevents women from fulfilling their natural biological and social functions.” 

I’m sorry, what did you just say? Please, oh kind sir, explain to us what our “natural biological and social functions” are, as we are too inept to even utilize the brain cells that we are born with. Which, might I add, are just as powerful as yours… which is kinda not a very good comparison in this case. Because, clearly, we women are only baby factories and should only be treated as all machines should be treated: no respect, no love, no affection. Only use us for your own purposes and then move on to the next baby factory when you’re tired of this sagging, old body. 

“Feminists can screech as loud as they want, but they will never change this fundamental reality; men accord respect based on merit, and if girls want to play in our world, they’ll have to obey our rules. Otherwise, they know where the kitchen is. I have more respect for the starving artist couple busking down the street from my house than I do for all the career-driven, Strong, Independent Women™ in the world. Being able to sing and play guitar well is no small achievement, and the buskers are actually providing a useful service to the world.” 

Okay, so I have two issues with this portion of nonsense that has no right to be called a paragraph. One, why should we women conform to your rules? Historically speaking, men have written the rules in a way that excludes many women. If we even attempted to make them more egalitarian, then we are labeled as “bitches” or “men haters” or “bra burners”. We have gone through so much to get this far. If you, as a man who will be — sadly — propagating in the future, can’t come into terms with the progress we have made thus far, you aren’t worth our eggs. 

The second issue I have with this is how are the female CEOs less respectable than the homeless guitarist in the subway? They have worked against every freaking possible obstacle – especially the ones guys like you have placed to stop them – and still make more than you do. You know, I’m starting to think that this pathetic male specimen of a human population is just jealous of our accomplishments. We have gotten the right to vote 143 years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence. We were the driving force behind the abolition of slavery. We are the driving force behind child services, to make lives easier for the working mothers — many of whom are single because of other pathetic male specimens of the human population. We are the driving force behind civil rights, gay rights, women’s rights, animal rights, environmental issues, etc. Because we have faced so much injustice in the world, that we can’t stand it when others are still being treated differently because of one facet of their character or personality. What useful service are the so-called “buskers” providing, other than wonderful music on a morning commute? Nothing, in my opinion… Those buskers need access to quality education and other services, which we women, oh kind sir, have been pushing for since the creation of the United States. 

“Insecurity is the natural state of woman. How could it be anything else? Given their lack of physical strength, a woman on her own should be frightened as hell without men to protect her. If society were to collapse, all the Strong, Independent Women™ who read Jezebeland xoJane would last about five minutes before they either found a man to cling onto or got raped and killed. In the bellum omnium contra omnes that is mankind’s default existence, a woman who is alone is a woman who is already dead.” 

If you can call insecurity the “natural state of a woman” then I will call narcissism the “natural state of a man”. Because pathetic male specimens of the human population, such as yourself, need such insecure women to make you feel good. We damsels in distress make you feel powerful. Make you feel needed. Make you feel like kings. We damsels can’t do any damn thing, so we stroke your ego to it’s highest level possible.

Another point… M/F rape is caused when a guy forces — let me repeat that so your mind can process it, if you’ll forgive the overstatement (if I may paraphrase Fred Allen) — when a guy forces himself onto a woman. (Or a woman onto a man, or a woman onto a woman, or a man onto a man, but let’s not get too complex here for the sake of my argument). It’s not caused by a woman. Let me repeat that as well: it isn’t caused by a woman. It’s entirely the man’s fault. We can dress however the hell we want, just like you guys dress like either posh businessmen or hobos, and we still want to demand respect. Because a woman’s body isn’t a sex toy for the male population.

My last issue with this nonsensical portion revolves around the last sentence. “A woman alone is a woman already dead.” Why? Just because we aren’t baby factories? We aren’t going through the pains of pregnancy every year, birthing babies like that’s the only occupation we will ever have? Women, just like men, can live satisfactory lives without the other sex. It’s called self-fulfillment.

“Essentially, “confident” women are incapable of viewing men as human beings.” 

Really now? I do admit it is rather hard when the pathetic male specimens, such as yourself, make their presence known. But, sadly, you are a human being just as myself. You bleed, you breathe, you are capable of thinking (though that’s an overstatement really), you are capable of learning (though that’s also an overstatement), etc. So technically you’re a human being. And so am I, because I satisfy all of those requirements. If you don’t want to consider confident and independent women as human beings, please proceed sir. But don’t project your beliefs onto us proud independent women. Because we shall overcome the likes of you. Easily.

“They want nothing more than for a man to throw them over his knee, shatter the Berlin Wall around their hearts, and expose the lovestruck, bashful little girl within.” 

Mother of all unicorns, where on earth are you getting this information. On second thought, don’t answer that. The last thing I want is to be treated as nothing more than a burlap sack. Even if I had to choose between being damned to the ninth circle of hell and treated as a burlap sack by a man, I will gladly go to Satan first. Because nothing is more humiliating, more dehumanizing that being treated as a thing. 

“At the end of the day, there are no Strong, Independent Women™. There are only shrews pleading for a taming. All the posturing, the pill-popping, the whining and demands for “equality”; they’re a cry for help. Girls don’t want the six-figure cubicle job, the shiny Brooklyn 2BR, the master’s degree, the sexual liberation, none of it. They want to be collectively led back to the kitchen, told to make a nice big tuna sandwich with extra mayo and lettuce, then swatted on the ass as we walk out the door.” 

No. No. No. No. And no. I’ll say no more. 

So that’s my case against masculine ego. It’s easy to see why we need more strong, independent women in the world, but for those that can’t simply use their brain cells — like this pathetic male specimen here, I’ll clearly state it. I’m not a huge fan of mass euthanization, but some people should never procreate. A prime example is the specimen that word vomited this nonsense. 



About squishymaru

Master's student in chemical engineering with a B.S. in chemical engineering as well. Loves chemistry, math, increasing diversity in STEM, politics, and public health advocacy. Loves reading, writing, and being active -- mentally and physically.

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