It’s your life, not mine.

One of my best friends, whom I consider to be a sister, probably made the worst decision in her life by transferring from her school to mine. To keep the anonymity, I will just call her “S”.

Let me start off by saying that I go to Rutgers School of Engineering (SOE) and S goes to TCNJ for her teaching degree. I’ll also have to paint a picture of what S is like, I suppose… Oh man, this will be interesting. 

  • For starters, she’s extremely immature, at least from my point of view. 
  • She is a hopeless romantic, who would much rather drown her feels eating ice cream and sobbing over some stupid chick flick than actually try to pull herself together and become a  poised woman. 
  • She’s also very judgmental, and if you are not interested in the things she’s interested (especially Kpop), she won’t be your good friend. 
  • But S is extremely loyal to her friends. She would probably even take a bullet for any one of us, if it meant that we’d be alright. 
  • S can be too maternal at times, but it’s still sweet because she cares a lot. 
  • She can also be a little dense and gullible at times, which is why it’s fun to tease her and joke around her. 
  • S is probably one of the most optimistic people on the planet, and someone I call when I’m so depressed that I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. 
  • She can’t keep a damn secret for her life, but that’s because she’s extremely honest and it’s really, really, really easy to read her emotions and expressions. 

So I’ve painted a rather contradictory picture of S, but she’s someone that’s full of them. 

Anyway, back to why I’m ranting. 

She’s decided to become a 4th grade teacher because she loves teaching and she loves kids. Congrats. That’s wonderful because there aren’t enough young people today who want to become teachers. And the work environment for teachers is extremely stressful, so I give her props for being so dedicated to our nation’s future generations. It’s wonderful. And she’s in TCNJ, which has the #1 teaching program in the nation.

But, S being S, wants to transfer to Rutgers because all of her good friends go here. And because TCNJ is “too white” and “not Asian enough” because S feels more at home around people who love Kpop and Asians. I don’t think she is racist in any sort of way or form, because she is simply talking about how comfortable she is making friends and all. But the part that I have a problem with is that the first thing she asks when she meets new people is whether or not they like Kpop, and if they do, then she initiates the conversation. If S continues to surround herself with like-minded people, then she’s doing herself a disservice. She will never be able to learn how to bond with people that don’t like everything that she does, or people that have different backgrounds from her, or people that act a little snobbish. 

The reason why I tried to convince her – to no avail – to stay at TCNJ was because she wants to be a teacher. A teacher. Someone who should be able to deal with any kind of situation or any kind of personality in a professional and calm manner. If she doesn’t learn how to deal with those that are extremely different from her in college, then how exactly will she become a great teacher? I fail to see the logic behind that. 

College, in my opinion, is not exactly a time for fun and games. Yes, people should enjoy their college years because everyone will be an undergrad only once in their life (theoretically). But college is also the time to build your leadership style, build your resume, build your academic profile, make NEW friends who will end up becoming part of your family, meeting NEW people, making NEW connections. Or do I simply have an old fashioned idea of what college really is about? 

And now she’s pretty much finished transferring here. RU Education program isn’t even in the top 30, so why is she so stupid? Maybe I’m just the stupid one here, assuming that everyone will pull their own weight and not be so clingy, but I guess that’s what makes S S. 

All I know for sure is that she is screwing up big time. But hey, if she doesn’t want to follow through with my advice, that’s fine by me. Just don’t come bloody crying to me when you don’t get a well paying teaching position or don’t get promoted as quickly as you should have. Because you didn’t listen to my bloody advice. I know what I’m bloody talking about. But hey, it’s your life, not mine. You can screw up as much as you want, as long as you don’t bloody whine about it later. 

(Sorry about all of the “bloody”s. I’m extremely pissed off, and I don’t particularly like to curse…) 


About squishymaru

Master's student in chemical engineering with a B.S. in chemical engineering as well. Loves chemistry, math, increasing diversity in STEM, politics, and public health advocacy. Loves reading, writing, and being active -- mentally and physically.

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